Communication is the key to a happy marriage

Everything has changed after you have a baby.

Life is not as simple and cowboyish as before. You could decide to go anywhere within seconds. Who care if you wish to have a late supper outside only the 2 of you.

Now with a baby, you would prefer to stay in. Have dinner at home because packing and preparing to take a baby outside is quite an ordeal.

Your daily routines will include your baby's routine.

Thus, your time for yourself become significantly reduced.

Then comes the question, is your husband helping you?

yes!

but is he doing a fair share of his deal or less than you?

If he does less than what he should that would even lessen your resting time. Maybe you can survive for a month or maybe you are such a superwoman that you might survive a year. You sure as hell feel the exhaustion and physical pain of handling a baby alone.

With pain comes the enevitable fight between the couple.

It is a brilliant idea to train your other half the art of taking care of a baby.

When I say taking care, I don't mean watching the baby while the mother have a meal.

I mean like taking care of the baby from morning till night. Wake up in the morning, bath the baby, dress the baby up and feed her with milk. Basically anything that comes in the way of making baby a happy baby, the father has to do it.

Then the guy would ask, what will the mother do? Maybe she will just breastfeed or she can take a day off.

Imagine having an off day from changing diapers, bathing the baby and etc. All you do is breastfeed and play with your baby.

Enjoy your baby. That is the day when you play daddy and daddy play the mommy-role.

Don't get me wrong. I love my mommy role. However I still need a rest or a day when I can enjoy a book or just have a haircut or do nothing. Doing nothing is a treasure these days.

Besides, you might have more children in the future and your husband has to be able to handle everything on his own when you are occupied with a younger kid.

Couple don't talk about this openly but they should. It does not reflect you as a bad wife or mom. You are just a human who is juggling between being a wife, mother and career woman. You can't do it all alone.

Lets do it together. The chores will lessen considerably and makes both of you much happier.

I was doing everything and I didn't ask for help. My husband can barely change Isabella's diaper let alone know how to heat the milk or bath her. We only take turns taking care of Isabella when one of us is cooking. 

I am not somebody who would ask for help. I was doing it alone until my wrists hurt because of lifting the baby too much and doing everything else in the house. I became frustrated. Breastfeeding on my lap become painful. Changing diapers or bathing her are too painful for me.

Everytime I felt pain, I was angry at my husband in silence. For making me having this pain, for me being so tired and less organized. I am such an organizer. So when my life became a chaos it stresses me up.

I blamed him because he is the nearest to me. Who else can I blame?hahaha.

With husband gone for months and I was  juggling our life alone, it was harder for me. I became more distant towards my husband because I was upset. I know he was tired travelling non stop trying to feed his family but nevertheless I was still upset.

So the question 'do you still love me?' arises. Are we still in love? Where are we heading to an many more questions came to my mind.

When something feels wrong or about to feel wrong, communication is the key.

So, one fine night, after our meeting with my bestfriends, my husband and i had a talk.

Yup, my bestfriends know the problem before my husband. Because man can be clueless most times. To them, everything is always fine. Sigh*

So after a talk with the girls, we exchanged experiences and they assured me that it does happen in a marriage an made a few suggestions.

Gosh, they are very helpful. That is why they are my bestfriends.

I always reminded my husband that he should step up and act like my girls so that we can be the bestest buddy where I can talk about fashion, girls and all trivial stuffs.

I told my husband how tired I am, how my hands hurt and still I have to endure the pain for my baby. It would help if he take over some of the chores when he is at home. I meant like taking care of the baby fully.Stepping up from what he already doing now. I have given birth so it is his turn. hahaha.

He listened.

Since then everything changes. He took over. He could take care of Isabella for the whole day whenever I am not around or if I am around.

When I bath Isabella, he immediately dress her up. I don't have to tell him. He sees and he acts on it.

It makes me so happy.

A happy wife is a loving wife. Remember that.

Since I am happy, I let him off. Like when he wants to help, I tell him to carry on with what he is doing, I can do it.

So you see, communication is the key. We woman always keep everything bottle up inside and it is bad for us emotionally, physically and mentally not to mention that it put a strain on our marriage.

Now, my husband knows his daughter's character. He always see Isabella on a good day. Once in a while she has a bad mood and that can be an ordeal to handle. Luckily it rarely happens.

Now he understands that it is not easy being a mother. It makes him appreciate me even more and me loving him so much more.

Happy:)