I am superwoman

I declare myself a superwoman, a supermom.

Yes peeps.

It is a self-declaration and I don't care.

My husband is so lucky to be married to me.

He should be grateful and worship me.

I am such a capable woman that I do everything myself.

That was what I felt lastnight at 11 p.m. when I reached the parking lot of my condo with a sleeping baby, 12 kg whom I have to carry all the way up.

This 7 months pregnant lady with a backpain has to carry a 12 kg girl with one hand, my heavy handbag filled with baby stuffs, tupperware and water bottle accross the shoulder and another hand carrying groceries goods.

Trust me I wish I could cry.

There were so many times, I wished to be that kind of girl who just raise her hands up and say, 'I can't do it. You do it'.

I wanna be selfish.

She wasn't well, my little girl lastnight. On our way home, she developped nasal congestion and her body started to become warm so I knew she would be cranky later.

I as a mother, couldn't wake her up with her being ill.

How can I?

I rather die than have my child suffer. Dramatic right? LOL.

So yes all the arms are filled and I couldn't even walk properly.

I almost drop her. 12 kg with one arm of a pregnant lady, no not that strong.

I told Isabella who was half awake, to hug my neck and she did.

I couldn't leave the groceries for hubby to pick up later because they were wet, frozen things.

Owh my husband was not around.

Don't get married to a man who works in entertainment industry if you don't wish to be so independent.

Trust me when I say, you feel like a single mom most of the time.

A doctor who works in the hospital is never this busy.

Atleast a doctor oncall on certain days and other days, he will come home after working hours.

Probably in a month he will have 6-10 oncalls.

While a director, producer, editor, cameramen, actors, actress, production crews work from morning till late night until they completed their scenes for that day for a whole of one month or more depend on the schedule.

Sometimes, the set would be somewhere away from home, which means, for more than a month, you will not see your spouse.

Do you blame them?

No.

That's their careers and how they earn for living.

It sucks.

They are not even getting that much.

I told my husband that he puts more hours than a doctor does but the pay is way lesser.

I don't blame my husband or complain.

This is not a complain or whatever.

It is just a point why I said I am a superlady.

Remember when I was in confinement and my husband went to Bosnia for a month and a half?

I was alone with a newborn even until late at night and one night I thought a burglar broke in?LOL.

Remember that time I carried my 2 months old baby to a clinic for check up and her babywearing bag snapped open and she fell down, hit her head.

We were admitted to Hospital Putrajaya.

Hubby was shooting in Sabah at that time.

I was so sad and scared, fearing for my newborn. Allah S.W.T knows what was inside me but exteriorly, I was a calm person.

Later, after 2 days, hubby got a ticket to fly home. Lucky his friend was the director and helped to cover his work when he came home.

Remember recently we just moved in and he had to go to Johor leaving a house full of unpacked things and a child?

That same weekend Isabella was disturb and I was so stress out that I walked out from the house with a 3/4 pants and a headscarf, like a crazy lady. LOL.

That practically, is my way of life.

I am still working till late at night.

Luckily starting next week, I will not  take Isabella to Cyberjaya with me as we have stopped going to Realkids.

It is sad really.

But I cannot be carrying her morning and at night from carpark to upstairs.

Too much for me.

She will be sleeping during both times.

My sister in law will take care of her.

Much relief.

Atleast until my delivery.

So, imagine me staggering with a child and plastic bags lastnight, walking home and I felt like my spine  was left somewhere along the way.

Isabella started becoming cranky.

Her nose was blocked, her cough was productive.

Who could blame her?

I sat next to her with my scarf still on me.

She was super 'manja' which means lying on mommy's lap.

I was trying my best to calm her, apply baby vics on her chest and back, setting the dvd player to Happy Feet to distract her and she said,'Nak asik'.

11.30 p.m. and I was feeding her rice porridge. Hehehehe. She is an eater.

She lied down looking weak.

After 12 midnight, she was able to calm down in front of tv, so I went to shower and arranged the tupperwares from my bags.

You are tired and sleepy but your child is your priority.

I changed her diapers and after half an hour she poopped and we changed again.

She wasn't about to sleep, so I lied down on the couch with her lying in front of me.

We were watching Happy Feet and I had to fake my enthusiasms while watching the movie.

Pfffttt. I've seen it too many times and trust me, I was faking it hahahhaa.

She smiled and that was good enough for me.

At 1 a.m. daddy came home.

I was quiet as I was drained.

On the bed, I told him how lucky he is to be married to me.

He is soooo soooo lucky.

His life is way easier than mine.

His work is tiring but atleast it is only work.

We women juggle work, pregnancy, kids, home and spouse.

You are tired from work and your spouse and children are hungry.

What do you do?

Sit in front of the tv?

No. We got up and make something in the kitchen.

Such is the life of a noble woman.

What I thought was,'Sure gonna get me so much rewards in afterlife. Ya Allah, you know how I feel right now, and I am such a patient person, please reward me'.

Hehehehe those are my chants when I find that I am at the edge.

Everyone will always be at the edge.

No worries. That is life.

But how do we carry ourselves is what matter.

It is a responsibility.

And I don't like to burden anyone even my husband.

I will do everything until I really cannot anymore. Then, I would ask for help.

We are supermommies right?

InsyaAllah, there will be rewards for us as promised by Allah S.W.T.

That is an advantages:)