What your kid really want

I love seeing my daughter's face when she fall asleep.

The way she snuggles to get close to me and her heaven-peaceful-knowing-that-she-is-loved's expression.

I feel a pang of jealousy at times.

I remarked to my husband,'I jealous sgt dgn Isabella ni kadang-kadang'.

He asked me,'Why?'

'When I see her face sleeping so close to me and I know she knows how much she is loved, how I will keep her safe, I feel jealous for her to have a mother'.

For kids to have the comfort of their mother so close to them, knowing where to turn to when they are scared or unsure is a luxury.

Last night, we slept at my MIL's place for Eidul Adha.

After all the food that I ate during the day, I developped epigastric pain at night, bloated stomach.

I was so much in pain that when my husband sat next to my form on the bed, he asked me how I felt but all I could manage was a weak, short answer.

I didn't have anymore energy.

All I could do was to deal with the pain.

Suddenly he brought in Isabella and try to put her to sleep.

And she said to her daddy,' Nak mommy. Nak mommyla'.

I immediately turned to her side and smile. Hugged and kissed her, pat her thigh until she fell asleep.

At that moment, I wondered to myself,'where did that strength came from'.

To me it is very simple, I will not have my children feel the way that I feel growing up. To feel alone and motherless, the need to be independent, strong and to know how to carry yourself amongst people at a tender age.

It is actually beneficial for me but I wish for my children to learn those qualities in another way.

However, my relatives commented how similar Isabella's behavior to me when I was at that age.

I quote,' very well behaved, knows how to carry herself around people, very friendly, listens to instructions and obey commands, loveable, knows how to capture people's heart and attention, clever and independent'.

They told me after I left Isabella with them for the first time last week when they visited KL.

My cousin who has never handled a child in her entire life had to cause a commotion by ringing everyone to ask where shall she rub the nappy cream? Which side of the drypers is the front and how to prepare the formula milk? LOL.

I knew she would have trouble but in the end she managed.

Well she set the wrong side of drypers but Isabella opened for her as it was uncomfortable so my cousin knew it was the wrong side.

Anyway, if only she gave Isabella the nappy cream, she would rub on herself just the way I taught her to.

I wonder why Isabella has to be independent when she has her parents all the time?

I guess the characters run in the gene as well.

I recently found out how similar I am to my late mother.

I never really knew my late mother. Meaning, people don't talk about her to me. I know just a bit of here and there.

Until I grow up, I never thought of finding her family.

My bestfriend always said,'why don't you find your mother's side of the family?'

My answer was,'dunno why'.

My husband always encouraged the same thing.

My late mother has a look-alike twin sister.

Maybe someday, I will dig around to know more about her and her family. InsyaAllah.

So, I am still lazing around at home today.

We are back in KL as hubby is working.

Here is my angel sleeping with my kimono cardigan as her blanket.

My peace:)

My point is you know how our children can infuriate us at times, we have to understand that they are trying convey something such as not getting enough attention from us maybe because we were at work the whole day and now we came home to the kitchen and tidying up the house.

Always come home to your children first.

Owh husband just a wave of hye and a kiss will be enough but your children need more attention.

I will open the door and say,' Hye syg. How are you? How was your day? Did you miss mommy?' with a big hug and kiss for her. She will hug me back and start telling me whatever she wants to say. Her face will light up and she probably will show me her toys or book that she was coloring.

Take 5-10 minutes sitting next to her and I will tell her how mommy is stink and in need of a bath.

We would walk together and she will wait for me to finish shower.

Daddy? Daddy who when mommy's around.

Then, I will go to the kitchen at the same time telling her how hungry I am. With that she knows that I am including her in everything.

She is my priority.

Because all kids ever one is our attention and love.