Every Cloud has a Siver Lining
We were having a conversation in the car lastnight my husband and I, reflecting on last year. Last year our, finance was a bit tight due to the unexpected. We planned to go on a holiday to Seoul in December 2012 and I wasn't pregnant at that time so financially we were free.
However, in January 2013 we found out that we were pregnant and I was transferred to Terengganu in May. Living in 2 places cost you a lot of money for travelling in term of the tolls, petrol and car maintenance. Paying rent for 2 houses, food added to the burden. Our monthly expenses went over a little bit more than a thousand than usual in a month.
Then, we went off to Korea and a vacation means more money spent,
Lucky for us, we were doing extra jobs during weekends to compensate to save for our baby. Having a baby means you have to set aside thousands for her stuff and if you choose to deliver in private hospital, means additional 4-5k. We were very busy and even towards the end of pregnancy, we were still working to meet our target. I only stopped working 1 weak before the delivery. I can be very determined when I set a goal.
In October, Isabella was born and we stayed in the same city. Less travelling, less petrol, less tolls, less money for groceries and more home-cooked meal.
We then changed our lifestyle of constantly eating at a fancy restaurant (me actually) and to dine a home cooked meal more.
We saved more!!
So I learned that I don't need to eat western food outside when I can make one which tastes much better than theirs if I wasn't too lazy. After all, my husband enjoys my cooking more than the restaurant's cooking.
Since, Isabella was born, our luck has turned. Hubby changed job and earned much more and I am also doing so much better than last year. We are always getting calls even when we less expected. Alhamdulillah. Hubby said, Isabella has brought us more returns and Allah has opened up a bigger highway for us:)
Still, I have learned to be stingy and pay attention to how I use my money.
1)Breastfeed instead of buying formula milk. Save money.(If you don't bf and have to buy fm it is ok for you. What to do kan?Takkan nak bg baby lapar:)
2)Using cloth diaper. (Instead of paying 40-50cents for a poop)
3)To use water to clean baby's butt when at home. Baby wipes will be used during travelling when no water source around)
4)To buy baby's clothes in bigger size and to stop buying for now since she has so many outfits already.
5)Not to clothes shop every month. (not a problem since I never shopped that often except after giving birth because the old clothes didn't fit me)
6)Say no to eating out. Cook a home cooked meal. (A meal for 2 usually cost us almost a 100 one time).
7)Mind the electric and water usage.
8)Do not go out if not needed, to save on petrols and tolls.
9)If I need to go somewhere, to opt for a less or no tolls route.
10)stick to the groceries list.
11))To help the less fortunate. (The more you give, the more you get. Thats what I think).
At times, you won't pass a few bucks to your less fortunate uncle or aunties, or your parents because you needed the money for some bills and etc. However, I find that whenever I made someone happy, Allah rewards me bigger.
Never forget about the retirement plan. There are so many ways to invest your money. We will not stay young forever.
So back to my husband and I conversation last night, he expressed his gratituted to Allah and I said I am glad that our struggles have ended. I told him before that whenever bigger waves have come, we just need to keep swimming and not get carried away by the tides. No storm will last forever. Patience and determination are the keys. In a marriage, we should always support each other in terms of everything. I scoffed at the notion 'my money is my money and your money is mine too'.
There is no such things. When one person is down, the other should offer a shoulder and vice versa. No one will forever be at the top and nobody stays down forever.
So he said,' If I am ever at the bottom, will you help me and be there for me?'
I replied,'Have I ever packed my bags and left you before? We are a team and we have faced our ups and down together. I have never looked down or insult you when I have more than you. I just knew that one day InsyaAllah, your life will make a turn. As much as you held my hands when I was at my bottom, I will continue to do the same if the storms return'.
That is what marriage is about.
Being a women, a wife, doesn't give you the right to ask for every gifts and expenses beyond your husband's pay. Doesn't make you hollier than thou if you keep your money instead of helping with the living costs. Doesn't make you a better person when you say,'I make more than you do. What kind of husband are you?'.
Remember that everything we have is temporary.
Besides, when he has more, he will reward you with more gifts. That is why, I never ask for gifts. I don't like to burden anyone, before was my father and now, my husband. Besides, I can buy my own.
However, it felt good when once in a while your husband surprised you with something. To me, it means the world because I didn't ask for it. He gave it because he wanted to.
Patience, understanding, appreciation, determination and resilience.
InsyaAllah our ship will sail smoothly...