What type of father are you?
What kind of father are you?
I'm sure there are many great fathers out there and I am very thankful for all of you.
I have 2 scenes to be compared.
Few weeks ago, I met a father and a son in the clinic.
The son goes to Sekolah Alam Shah in Putrajaya and he was not feeling well.
So he came with the father.
As usual, I would ask whats the problem for them to start telling their complaints so that I can listen.
My questions are very general directed to parents or their kids as the kids usually would let their parents do the talking.
As usual, the boy just looked at me quiet. No answer. As expected.
So I turned to the father.
He said to me,'Kenapa tgk saya. Tanyalah dia, dia yang sakit'.
Well I did ask but he wasn't saying anything. Boys from my experiences, don't like to talk to strangers that much. They might feel a little bit shy. He was in form 1. So, it is common as a father you should know your son's problem. Why couldn't you ask him what was his problem.
Okay whatever, I wasn't going to judge him. Tried to be very non judgemental. Owh maybe I was wrong. He might be the warden.
So after some persuasion, the short and thin boy told me that he has cough, sore throat and feeling very weak.
I examined and found out that he has a fever, moderately high.
'Owh, you have a fever'. I directed to the boy.
The father's reaction was,'What??Owwh demam ke??Ingatkan main2 je'.
He was stunt. Turned out, he was the father after all.
I convinced him that yes he has a fever and he needs some rest tomorrow.
I explained his medication and told him I will giving him a rest day for tomorrow.
The father reacted badly..'Hah??Takyah p sekolah??Takyahla. Esok ko takyah makan ubat ni takut mengantuk dalam kelas.Ko pergi sekolah jugak'.
At that moment, I felt so sad looking at the quiet boy. He was tiny and unconfident. He didn't say a word against the father. He neither nod nor disagree with the father.
I gave your son a day to rest. Why are you forcing him to go to school?
After I was done, the father got up and left the room. The boy followed slowly behind him. No words at exchanged between the two.
Why are you not sympathetic towards him. He is still at a tender age and he needs your attention and love.
Tough love hah??
I guess everyone has his own method of parenting. I for one not going to meddle in. I learned as an observer.
Second situation which happened today.
A concern father brought his son to the clinic. A metal iron fell on his son's right foot last nighy. It was bleeding at first but now, they were swollen, bruises and he is walking with a painful gait.
After an examination, I ordered an x-ray of the foot.
There were small fractures at the toes.
Did some dressing, gave him my opinion and suggest him for a referral to emergency department in a nearby private center since they are foreigners, Arab Saudi.
The father was very worried. He cloaked like a mother hen next to me. He was next to the big boy all the while, comforting him, touching his hair. Asking me what will happens. If it serious.
He even accompanied the boy to an x-ray room.
He wanted to participate during the wound dressing.
From the height, the boy can easily pass himself to be 18 years old. He is very gentle and well-mannered. I assured him that he can tell me if he is in pain during the wound washing instead of keeping quiet. Such a gentleman.
I wonder why the father was acting as if his son was a little child. He can take the small pain being that big.
As it turns out, the son was only 13 years old. He was such a big guy, tall and good built.
So I commented on how surprise I was with his real age. No wonder the father treated him like a young boy, dependant boy. The son looked very independent though, confident.
The father said,'this is not only my son, he is also my bestfriend. This is the first time that I am acting/feel like a father. He is my eldest son.'
That was his touching sentence. I could see how much he adores and cherishes his son.
I think what he meant was, this was the first time that he was worried and taking care of his unfortunately injured son. So he was handling the responsibility of a father as he should. The boy must have not gave him trouble at all before and he was carrying out his fatherly duty gladly.
Now, to me that is a great father. A very dotting father.
It takes an Arab Saudi man to show me a lesson. Are they all like this??
Be a father to your son and daughter, be their friends, teach them all you know and show them the right way and the while make them feel loved..Because, if they know how much they are loved, they would think multiple times before they hurt you.
So, what type of a father are you??