What you should know if you have decided to marry a busy man..
If you have decided to marry a busy man, there are things you should know before you make the decision..
People have different careers, different kind of hours at work which will determine their way of live.
If your husband is one of those working in odd hours, believe me your life will be affected too.
1)You will find yourself being alone more than your other married friends.
My husband's schedule is very tight when he is onto some projects.
Which is like always. Sigh*
His schedule usually starts from early morning and finish at night or late at night.
That depends when the shoot will be over.
They have a schedule to stick to.
Most of the time, he will have to travel away from home.
When that happens, I will be alone.
Nowadays, with Isabella.
After a month or more, he will come back home and be with us.
It is lonely at times. Especially when you get like 2 minutes max to talk on the phone.
Well, both of us don't like to be on the phone for long.
I do feel like my husband lives inside my phone at times.
Hello syg! comfortable in there??
2)You will be the man of the family.
If your husband's schedule is so tight, you will have to do all the house chores.
Settling the bills, going to the bank, paying his and your car loans, going to post office, send the car for wash, do groceries, buy clothes for your baby.
It helps that we can do most transaction via online.
So, you have to be very independent.
There is no 'I can't go there, do that because my husband is away'.
Because then, your life will be in a huge mess.
You have to know how to drive a car.
Be independent and brave.
Eventhough you have to handle your baby alone.
Now that is a super mommy.
3)Stay home alone at night.
Don't get spooky with ghost stories.
I don't watch thriller when my husband is going away or already away.
As I don't want to remember the scenes.
The thing is whenever I am alone at night, there is always preview for some Malay thriller movie.
Nora Danish screaming here and there.
Tupp! Channel changed.
Crazy lady shouting all the time.
Check the house doors and windows, make sure they are locked.
Turn on the lights at the porch and stairways.
Know your address and get an emergency contact number on speed dial.
4)Whenever you miss your husband, just text or whatsapp to ask 'how he is doing?Has he eaten'.
Be patient and sympathetic towards your partner's condition.
Due to his busy schedule, he must be tired, hungry, sleepy.
So, don't add to his headache by ranting out about your small problem.
Try to manage yourself.
If you can't, then tell him when he comes back from work.
My husband will offer to do some banking business if I find it to difficult to go with Isabella.
He will do it after work if he has the time.
Usually I will try to settle everything myself.
5)Tolerance, understanding and trust.
Even if he is always away, you should not be blindly jealous and start throwing tantrum.
Be understanding, tolerance when it comes to his work and limitation.
Trust him carefully.
I am not somebody who will start throwing things and get jealous.
Somehow, knowing his characters, I just trust him.
Don't start nagging on how he is always away bla bla bla.
Then, at the end of the month, you expect him to cough out the expenses.
If you want to say something, say it nicely like,' I feel like my husband is always away. Nobody to love me'.
Then, he will hug you slowly.
Do not linger on small issues.
6)Schedule sometimes for family getaway.
That is why, whenever both of us have some time to getaway, I will book a hotel right away.
I am my husband's manager.
That is the time, when both of you rest and rekindle romance.
Life with routines can get too monotonous and plain.
Romance is very important in marriage.
Tell stories again, update each other, just sit side by side and walk holding hands at the beach.
Life is not about all work.
But finance is equally important.
However, the key is to find a perfect balance to make it works.
7)Be caring. Care for your husband.
When he comes home, he must be tired like hell, with cramping legs due to long standing, headache.
Give him a massage, talk quietly and softly.
Understand when he wants to sleep.
Do not go attacking him with 'You are always working and when you are back, you sleep. No time for me at all'.
The thing is, tomorrow he has to get up early again and work another 12 hours.
If you care about him, don't be selfish.
You don't want your husband driving in his sleep do you?
8)Do not disturb your partner at work with the constant calls or whatsapp.
My husband's work requires focus and concentration.
So does mine.
I get very annoyed if I get unimportant calls when I am working.
Text or whatsapp will be better because you can reply when you are free.
When you don't get a reply immediately, understand that maybe your partner is occupied.
Don't go accusing him or her of something.
And just don't get clingy during working hours.
9)At times, you will get frustrated, tired of doing it all but I always think that Allah will reward me because my aim is always to help my husband.
Make his life easier.
He has a lot on his plate to provide and be the head of the family.
A great assistant is a plus for him.
That is where I come..
10)Now, busy couples always end up in a divorce.
That is how celebrities especially Hollywoods always get divorce.
They have been away from each other too much.
I guess that is why Emma Maembong putting up words in instagram how if you ignore me, I will move on.
Come on, we all have been there and understand really well what she meant.
Eventhough Zizan denied it.
I don't buy your denial Mr Zizang.
After a while, they just become lazy to work on their marriages.
People break up too when their boyfriends or girlfriends are too busy wo spend time with them.
The question is 'how much time do you want your partner to spend on you?'
If he spend more time with the family and make less, will that be fine?
If it is fine, that you don't mind to live a minimum life, then by all means.
Just know what you want for your family.
Other than being busy, is your partner a caring, loving and responsible person?
Does he or she makes you happy?
Is he or she worth this sacrifice?
If he is worth it.
My husband is worth it.
So yea I am not like most mothers who go buy groceries with their husbands, walk around the malls together every weekend but this is my life.
I have not been out from Putrajaya for 2 months I think.
That day, I went to Kajang and I realized there are so many new constructions site at Putrajaya exit.
I wonder how could I not know this.
That is what happen when you work next to your house.
There are times when we will do things together too, it is just not all the time or most of the time.
I don't mind because like I said, he is worth the fight.
Marriage is a battle.
Just don't give up.
Do your best.
So, if you choose to marry your busy partner, remember that it is not easy.
Marriage itself is not easy.
Do not expect everyone or every marriage to be the same.
This is what you choose so stick to it, nurture your love well, protect your mosque.
Just do not give up.
So, hmm if you want to marry a doctor.. think about this again.
My state of director confided in a meeting one day how a doctor's husband in Selangor threatened to divorce his wife if she didn't come home on time again.
He went and called our director.
This guy claimed to be Ustaz and said that his wife should obey him.
So between obeying your husband and performing your responsibility to your job as a doctor.
Understanding is the key here.
If you think of marrying an actor, director, producer, cameraman,editor, read this article again.
These people are so passionate about their creativity that it seems like they are living in a different world.
IT persons. Someone who work with telecommunications.
They have shift and work at night, away from home.
Government servant. Meetings and course can happen anytime and anywhere.
Even at night in some ministry.
That is why if you sell a crappy food in Putrajaya, do not worry because your food will be sold out too.
Too busy to cook, too busy to do laundry.
Dobi here makes a lot of money weh.
Other jobs too can be very busy.