Is your husband the centre of your life?

I want to share you a tale of a wife.
Someone I know.
I will keep her identity a secret as she is a very private person.
Even though you don't know her, I think that she is admirable enough as a wife and should well be looked upto.

Nabila (not her real name) was married to a man Nabil ( not his real name) about 2 years ago.
They have kept each other very happy.
They seemed like other regular couples, funny and cheerful.
Little that I know that Nabil has been suffering with cancer for several years.
Nabila knew this before they got married.
Nabil was admitted several times in the hospital.
She decided that they should get married fast so that he has someone to take care of him, accompany him in the ward.
As a wife, she can apply leave from the office easily.

Due to her unwavering love, she insisted on continuing the pursuit of their love and made marriage as a licence for her to continue taking care of him freely.
To her, everything is the hands of Allah and nothing is for sure.
She placed her fate and her husband's life in the hands of Allah and took the biggest step of her life.
Who would have willingly, brave enough to take on this huge step?

She did what she promised to do.
She really took care of him.
Devoted her life to him.
You won't believe what she did for him.

Despite the chemotherapy, the cancer cells metastasized to the lungs.
She wouldn't accept No for an answer.
What medicine has proven to be ineffective, she immersed herself into reading about homeopathy, remedies, antioxidants and vitamins.
Anything I knew, she would know and even more, in length.
It shows she did her research.
Surprising for an engineer.
She didn't ask anybody anything, she read.

A person who rarely held a book back in her teen days.

Base on my experiences, people don't research about their husbands disease in length rather than ask the doctor to provide the information.
They would not go dig deeper by themselves.
I seldom find myself with a knowledgeable patient or relatives.

Everyday is a set of routine.
She would wake up in the morning and make Shaklee ESP for him to provide energy.
He gets fatigue easily.
He needed the vitamins filled on the rack.
Then after a few hours, there were the beet roots juice, the weed juice, the Habatul Saida, the lemon and honey and so many more.
Name it and you can find them in the fridge.
Whatever science said good for health, she made them for her husband.
She?The lazy bambi during childhood, who loved to lie on the bed and sleep most of her afternoon away, was doing this for a person.
We used to fight on who should do the laundry or cook the rice.
She didn't want to do none.

Here she was constantly reminding him to drink water.
She bought a big bottle to fill in plain water for him.
So, her husband would walk around the house carrying the bottle in his hand.
From time to time, she would remind him 'have you drank your water abang?'
She wanted him to be hydrated, energetic and healthy.
When she saw that his energy level dropping fast, she would urged him to rest.
Owh she would make an annoying doctor.

'Abang, don't overdo yourself. Are you tired?'
Whenever we have a function back in kampung, everyone would be busy.
Nabil would help too.
He always acted as if he was as well as everyone else.
Not everyone knows about his disease.
She wanted to keep it that way.
Cancer has a negative vibe to people and she didn't want everyone to show sympathy and their negativity brushed on Nabil.
To her, she wanted him to be optimistic and happy, ready to fight this battle.

She watched him like a hawk.
I used to tease her how she was treating her husband like a school boy.
'Abang jom tido'.
And if he ignored it just to stay awake with the rest of us, she would stand up and say'abang jom kita tido', ushered him to the room.
She could see how tired he was and that he was putting a strong front to everyone to see.
In the bedroom, he would be just collapse.
She was his nurse and his doctor.

Some days, they would stay in the bedroom all morning and later on I found out that Nabil had terrible headache.
She was nursing him, massaging his head, applying oil on his forehead.
Whenever, he was unwell, she just could not leave his side.
It was extreme.
Other wives would still do house chores, cook, look after the kids or treat guests and do something else in between.
For her, no.
Her husband was number one priority.

She reminded me of a story about Fatimah Az-zahra and a young wife who would wait for her husband to come home with a cane on her hand in case he gets angry and wanting to beat her, water on the other hand if he gets thirsty and door wide opened welcoming him home.
She wouldn't let Fatimah az-Zahra in as she was waiting for her husband which could come home anytime.
Fatimah thought she was kind of extreme.
She was ignoring Fatimah and focusing on her husband's coming home.
Even her husband later at night commented on why she didn't invite the Rasulullah's princess in?

To this lady her husband was number one.
That was why she would be the one leading Fatimah on a horse into heaven.
When Rasulullah sent Fatimah to her he said,'Do you want to know who would be the first lady to enter heaven?'
Fatimah cried.
After meeting thi lady, she rushed back to Rasulullah and said ' I couldn't do that. Be the kind of wife the lady was'.
Then Rasulullah said, ' You are the first lady who would step in heaven but the lady would lead your horse which makes her step earlier than you'.
They had a laugh.

This is a story which I read when I was 14 years old.
I might forget a little here and there, my appology.

Back to Nabila, she was a strong lady.
I have never seen her give up.
She was always calm no matter what comes into her life or news from the doctors.
She didn't show her worries.

He was the centre of her life.
I could see that.
She has kept him happy till the end of his breathe.
She fought this battle with him.
She fought hard.
I think even harder than he was.
Was not ready to give up until it was time.
She confessed to me once that she will fight this all the way.
No one can tell her that there is no hope for cancer.

She was a wife with a steel heart, filled with the love as the size of a mountain, as caring as a nurse, as funny as a best of friend.
I adore that spirit and motivation.
The selfless act.
I could not do that knowing that my husband would be sick and still marrying him.
Could I?
Be courageous enough to do this?
Knowing the heartbreak that would come.
The worst thing if it happens to me is because I am a doctor.
I am not optimistic like she was.
What she had was hope and fight and what I would have would be statistic of cancer survival, facts and no sense of hope.

When I looked at her, I wonder how strong will I be if this is happening to me?
Will I be as tough as she is?
Will I take care of my husband as best as she does?
Seeing myself right now and comparing to her, I am nothing close to her.
Whatever I think that I am doing for my husband, is nothing compared to her.
She was blessed by her husband who passed away on a Friday,in Ramadhan.
He was the chosen one.
He was such a kind man, a man of a few words.

She would meet him in Jannah insyaAllah.
As a wife, we will be granted Jannah if our husband has blessed us.
The question is 'Is your husband the centre of your attention?'
Have you left  your work and daily routine when he has a fever or headache just to lie next to him?
I didn't.
I gave him a pill and hand him a glass of water.
Put him to sleep and continue my house chores or go to work.
Because I know headache can go away.
However, would my husband be very please if I accompanied him.
Would he bask in the attention?

This new event made me think.
Eventhough I love my husband and care for him, I should do more if I want him to bless me.
It is shameful that my cousin has performed her duty as a wife way better than I could be.
How selfless she is eventhough she is a successful career woman.

Now, let us think again,' Is your husband the centre of your life?'
'Have we done enough for them?'
No don't talk about how they have flaws because nobody is perfect.
They still have a higher place than us, wives.
Our respect should be to them fully.


Popular Posts