My Fairy Tales

My Fairy Tales..

Remember the times when we were in high school day dreaming on who and when will we ever meet our prince charming? hmm nope?Only me?

I was in the 5th year medical school in Russia when facebook made our path crossed each other, my husband and I. We would never have met each other, being in 2 different arenas and world.

Being a student, we spent most of our time at the study desk in front of a desktop. If I wasn't studying, I would be reading fashion magazine online, watching you tube or some tv series and korean dramas. Hah! don't tell my dad. He thought that I was the most hardworking person. He even asked me to give a talk to his SPM students on how to score SPM. hahahaha. I kindly decline as I wouldn't know how to start the speech..It would end less than a minute.

It would sound like this..'If we aim big, than the effort should be even bigger'.

Simple. Besides, I didn't feel adequate enough to talk on that subject.Adeh ayah ni, ramai lagi score SPM and lagi banyak A's.16 A's baru la power. 9A's everybody can do it.

Back to the love story...I always left my Facebook page on even after I've gone to classes. My guy friend has advised me against this. Well he was a gadget kind of person and I was not.

So, one day, somebody buzzed me at facebook chat. Iskandar Zulkarnain. I always received this buzz or hye from strangers in fb or from friends in Malaysia. 

Usually, I would ignore the chat from a stranger. I was the kind of person who wouldn't spend much talking on the phone, replying text or chatting. To this day. Unless they are very important like my family members or somebody became ill and needed my help or somebody died.

But my husband's approach was different.


me:(aik awat dia panggil aku doc ni. I was a medical student at that time. Camna dia kenai aku?Sapa ni?)still not replying.Pretending to be invisible.As always.

Iz: I nak tnya u satu soalan. I ada masalah selalu cirit-birit lepas mkn. Dari dulu lagi.

me: (oo sian budak ni. Ada Irritable Bowel Syndrome ke or masalah lain ni. Few differential diagnoses came to my minds. I needed to ask questions to decide the diagnosis. A doctor cannot stand the unknown.She will dig the story until she knows the disease. Thats it I have to ask him)

2 minutes have passed.

me: Oo u ada muntah tak?bla bla bla came a series of questions. Once I started, I could not stop talking. I wish that I am a more quiet person. Maybe Isabella will be quiet and gentle. sigh.

And he answered each one.When I told him he might have IBS and I gave him few suggestions. Case closed.

By then, I felt comfortable talking to him already. He said tq and bye.

Now this was a nice chap. He didn't waste my time chatting for so long. Pleasant.

We chatted several times after that. I found him to be interesting. Still i didn't have feelings for him. He told me later on after we got married that he was attracted to me from the first time he saw my photo. After he got to know me, he started liking me, wanted to get to know me but he thought I was superior than him with me being a future doctor.

A doctor is not superior actually. We are just the same as everyone else. We laughed and merapu all the same.
So, don't be intimidated to tackle a doctor. hahaha. There are so many female doctors available. Too busy, no time to start dating. Plus people think a doctor would want to marry another doctor but you are wrong. You will be surprised on how many doctors married other professions, engineer, lawyer, oil and gas, teacher, accountants, business man and etc. So far, I have never met a doctor with a husband in the entertainment business. So they usually became thrilled knowing my husband's work and started asking series of questions, wanting to see his photo.

I decided to check his fb page to see what kind of person he was. Looked through his photos. Owh my, he was messy with long unruly hair but the smile was sweet and cute.
I was practically drawn towards one particular photo of his with a big smile. It made me grin seeing the boyish, innocent look. He didn't seem like the social, wild type of guy.

Maybe if I saw photos of him with girls around him, touching, hugging eventhough buddy-like, that would be a huge NO to me.
I just don't like that. I don't mean to ceramah people as I am not Ustazah. I just don't prefer that kind of a friend.

I saw a photo of him and my schoolmate, Najib, So I was excited. 
I said,'Kawan you tu bdk sekolah I dulu'.

Iz: owh yeke? dia housemate I.(He refused to elaborate more. Takut kantoi)

me: what a small world:)

Little that i know, Najib was the one who showed my fb page to my husband and told him to try me. Try me??Words people. Need a better word.

Then, came the exam season,practical hours and I was caught up. I no longer replied his chat. I acted as if I didn't exist. He still said hye from time to time despite me not replying.

I felt guilty for clicking invisible button on yahoo chat everytime. I really couldn't afford to chat long with friends back then. So I did that to everyone.

I asked him later on when we were going out,' What were you thinking?Why did you keep on buzzing me despite me not answering everytime. If I were you, I wouldn't have said hye to me ever again. My pride needed some salvation'.

He replied,' I didn't feel that way at all. I like you, talking to you. Eventhough later on I had a girlfriend, I still need to talk to you. I kept you from my girlfriend. She would have deleted you from my fb friendlist'.

You are different from the girls I knew.

But you were totally ignoring me. Poyo. Sombong.

In my defense, I was not being 'poyo' or sombong, I just had my focus elsewhere thats all. Now he knows that his wife doesn't spend too much time holding the phone whatssapping, chatting, texting or talking on the phone even to her husband. She prefers other things.

After 3 months, he said hye and I replied. He has a new story. He has a girlfriend. She was young, his junior, pretty and he was in love. He told me how they met and everything. I was happy for him. 

Me? I was still busy trying to complete my studies, while hanging out with my close friends, gym class, morning run, fashion, Korea, You tube ooh and selling Nasi Lemak with Cud. We planned to go to London for summer and we need to save some money.

So we woke up every Sunday at 3.30 a.m. and start cooking Nasi Lemak. By 9 a.m. we will distribute them to the Malaysian's who has ordered. I wore a long yellow belted trench coat, 
knee length boots, sunglasses and carried Mango bag filled with Nasi Lemak. If you look at me, you would not have guessed that I was selling Nasi Lemak. Stylish. hahaha. Even those who were waiting for their orders, the juniors, hesitated to approach and ask me.

It was tiring but we earned quite a lot.Yeay!! The struggling life of students.

Despite having a jealous girlfriend, he still continue trying to contact me. 

While we were dating, I said,'Do you know it gave bad impression when u already have a girlfriend but you were still trying to chat with me?I hope you will not chat with some other girls while we are going out'.
It has been 3 months since he dated his gf. The honeymoon period was over. Now came the true nature. So he was pouring out his problems on me, how his gf didn't understand his work which involved travelling and she wanted him by her side 24hours, he couldn't hang out with his friends anymore bla blabla.She deleted his fb girl friends. He tried to please her but there was no pleasing her.
He thought of me as a wise friend. He wanted the relationship to work.

Haish, my reaction was 'this matter is too small to consult me.Besides I'm no doctor love' haha

I only said good words to him for support eventhough I felt like saying,' Come on man, that girl clearly is too immature. Having a girlfriend doesn't mean you have to severe all ties with your friends or spending 24hours with her and no work at all. If she can't understand that, maybe you should rethink again about this.

Little that I know, I will be giving motivations for him more in the future. Till this day, I would say ,'It is ok syg. Don't worry. It is a small matter if you compare on what others have faced. We will be fine'.

I wouldn't feel down on most of everything, because I've seen each day how other people live their live, their fate with being poor, no education, no family, chronic diseases, orphan. Everyone has different fate but they still move on and do their best with it.

You would feel regret, grateful and lucky with where you are. So, if I compare my problems with theirs, mine would be ashamed. So the next time we pity ourselves, lets think of others. We will find the strength to solve whatever we are facing.

That is how we lend our support. My husband whines for little things such as he has headache, he has a cold, fever and etc. I would give him advices which he would not follow. Still he would tell me again and again how he was feeling.
What he really wanted was my attention, and care. Manja.

I on the other hand rarely rarely rarely complain or whine. Even labour pain, I still kept quiet. That is why he will always ask how I am doing.
If you ask me if I am ok? I will say I am ok eventhough I am not.
If you ask 'do you feel pain..?'
then my answer will be yes I have pain here but I am ok.

Until the moment that I couldn't take it anymore then, I would crumble down into his arms.

But that happened only twice during our marriage.
1)because I had been working too much in hospital 4 a.m. till 7 p.m. everyday plus night shift and it went on for few months without a day off because we didn't have enough doctors.

So one day, I hugged him and said 'I'm really tired.I just want one day off.Only one day please. I am not a robot. I need to rest. Why did my father made me a doctor??? My dad is such a cruel man bla bla. He would torchered his only daughter like this by making her a doctor? What kind of lifestyle is this?What if you leave me and get another wife because I was too busy to tend to you?

A whole lot of whining hahaha. Well the whole picture is not that bad. Being a doctor is not that bad once you get used to it. It is fun and adventurous. However being in a medical department was really tough. Well, we had to go through that ordeal and I survived, had fun, a lot of experiences but wouldn't go back there again.

2) during early pregnancy when I couldn't eat anything without vomiting them out.
Hubby would come home at 11 p.m. and cooked porridge for me because that was the only thing I could eat. He would wake me up and feed me the porridge on our bed. Dinner in bed.
After 3 months of vomiting blood, I crumbled again in his arms. It was warm and I love his scent. It was the most comforting place to be. So peaceful, to rethink about my situation, and get up on the ride. 

Everyone needs someone to catch her whenever she falls, hold her steady while she cries her heart out and lift her back on the horse. That is the beauty of love. I know that I don't have to be strong all the time as I am not alone anymore. I will never be alone till the day Allah takes one of us away. 

I graduated, came back to Malaysia. He broke up with his gf. But we have lost contact.

Then, one day, I went  balik kampung to Kulim to attend a friend's wedding and see Cud my bestfriend as she was working in Hospital Kulim at that time.

I drove my car accompanied by my friend and Is's friend Najib. His kampung was also in Kulim as we went to high school together.
We were going to attend the wedding together.

In the car, he said 'eh tomok (is what they call my husband) nak p sg petani'.
So he called my husband and found out that my husband was on a bus to Kedah for an interview and he will go back to KL the next day.

So I said, 'La if we knew earlier, he could have joined us. It would be more convinient for him. Ask him if he wants to accompany me back to KL since you are staying in Kulim for a while. I am scared to drive back to KL alone at night'.

I wasn't sure with the road as I had just came back from Russia after 6 years. How could I remember the direction?

Well my husband had his hesitation. He was shy since we haven't met. How could he be in the same car with me?Besides, he thought I was 'poyo' for not replying his chat and messages.

Well as for me, I didn't mind because why should I be shy? I meet strangers in the hospital everyday. I'm used to having conversations with strangers.

That night, Najib assured me that Tomok won't stop at the highway, kill me and have me thrown into the deep valley as I was concerned about. Is he a psycho?Is your friend a good guy.

Najib assured me that he would not let me go back with a psycho. Gila apa?

Well, true. They were roomates in Uitm.

As I entered Najib's place to pick up my husband, I saw my him for the first time. Short black hair, cute face,  wearing a dark brown, marronish colored jacket. He looked exactly like his photos in fb I've seen last year except now, he looked neater.

He didn't look at me though.

After 30 minutes, he still has not acknowledged me. This guy must be super shy. Its ok. We have to get going. It was 10 p.m. already.

So I asked him,' we'll go?'

In the car, he was still shy, he would not talk to me nor look at me. I made him drive as I was sleepy.

So, I started talking and telling funny stories, teasing him to keep him wide awake. Who cares if I made a fool out of myself. I probably would never meet him again. hahahaha. 

He thought I was the most talkative girl ever. And I must have no feelings towards him with the way I was behaving. Sgt tak control ayu.

5 hours journey and it was so fun. We talked and got to know each other. He said I never replied his msg on fb the one he asked about his sorethroat. I said I did reply and you never replied back.

Turned out the msg was not sent. FB sabotage me!!

At the end of the journey, I felt a closeness towards him.
I realized that he was very different from what I thought him to be. Far from ordinary. He was kind, funny, shy and it felt like we have known each other forever.
How I wished the ride to be longer. Kedah to KL felt so short.

The next day, he had to work so he texted me the second day after we came back. Despite everything that I was feelings, I had to be sure that he felt the same. I mean not love or anything serious, just if he felt close to me and comfortable.

When I received his text, I grinned from ear to ear, jumping around in the room. OMG!! he asked me out..What does that mean?our first date?? How would it be? Dub dap dub dap.If he asked me out, that means he felt the same way as I did. We could be friends from now on.

He texted me 24/7 hours even while I was doing ward round. He would call me at night after I finished work and we would talk for 30 minutes to 1 hour.

I knew he has feelings for me. Come on. A guy would not have texted you so much if he didn't like you.
I liked him too but I wasn't sure about him. He was still wearing knee length short and slippers. Wearing a cartoon t-shirt. Not my style. 

Besides, I wasn't ready for any relationship. So I prefer the way we were, chill and unsure. It was a friendly hang out just with someone you feel comfortable with.

He said that he was from a different world and background and I was too high for his reach. He was afraid if he get involved to deep and his heart would get broken.

I did want him to reach. I didn't tell him that. 

To me, he was unsure about his life, his career and choice. I was very sure of my life, my career and where my life was going. I have no time for somebody who was still unsure of everything and even his feelings.

I liked him but maybe he was right, it would get complicated if we were in a relationship.
I was not sure of this. Very unsure. 

We stopped seeing each other. I mean I stopped seeing him. I replied his messages but they were always short.

I thought it would be best since he said I should give chances to other suitors. Well I had several suitors at that time.

He didn't even have the gut to stake his claim. If only he would say,'Don't see anyone else but me', I would have gladly follow.

You see my heart belongs to him from the beginning eventhough I wasn't admitting to myself. I was avoiding the relationship.

From time to time he would text me saying,'You sombong'.

He asked me to see another guy but still he wanted me to see him. I couldn't see so many guys, could I? So you blew your chances with me. That means goodbye.

After 3 months, we no longer talked or see each other. He was busy shooting all over the country and I was busy in the Pediatric Department.

One day, he texted,' U tau tak ward 5C? Ayah I masuk wad 5C hospital Selayang'.

me: Are u sure? sb 5c tu ward org bersalin. 5D wad jantung.

hubby: oo aah 5D

me:sakit apa?

hubby:I tak sure sgt sb tak jumpa doc masa kt kecemasan semalam. Drg masukkan dia ke wad. Tapi dia ada kencing manis dan darah tinggi. Boleh you cek tak dia sakit apa?

me: Ok. Nanti I bagtau u.

That day I was postcall. Very tired. I had been working 34 hours straight and I just felt like going home to my bed.

I checked his father's record and he had a heart attack last night. His sugar level high wired and blood pressure was high. Besides, his kidney and heart were not in a good condition. 

So, that afternoon after work, I went to visit his parents. He was yet at home. I always visit my friend's parents or relatives in my hospital. When you are a doctore, you are more sensitive towards someone's health easpecially your friends.

His whole family was there, kakak, abg ipar, adik, mak cik, mak lang.Mak aih ramainya.

I introduced myself as Is's friend. They were surprised to see me. They didn't know he was friend with any doctor. In his line of work, how would he meet a doctor??They thought I was his girlfriend. (his makcik thought that).

They asked me all sort of questions about his father. They were concern. 

Then, he arrived and saw me at his father's bed talking to his parents.

He told me later on, that was the moment he realized he has always been in love with me. How I looked so sweet, kind and gentle towards his parents. (I was just being a doctor actually. He usually see me out from work so I was different). Eventhough, in my white coat, I seemed more out of reach from him but it didn't bother him this time. He knew I was the one for him. For the first time he was sure, that this was our fate to be together.

He tried to deny his feelings but he couldn't. It kept on rising back and he kept on thinking about me. No matter how many time we have lost each other, fate would always bring us back together.

The question was how would he faced my father. He was afraid to meet the principle. Would my father accept him. He was nervous.

to be continued..


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