The Day I cried in front of everyone

The day I cried in front of everyone clear to be seen.

Today Isabella due for her 2 month check up at KK Presint 9.So early morning, I headed from LBJ my MIL place alone. Reaching the Clinic at 11 , I had to park far because there was no parking available. So I chose to use the baby carrier given by my husband's aquaintance, Baby Love as I had to walk ver far crossing the drain and park. Stroller would be more tricky.

I always hold Isabella even with the carrier. The button opened while she was in it. I clicked it back tightly and walked towards the clinic.

I reached the front counter of the clinic. One hand supporting Isabella's bottom and the other hand I shoved into the handbag to reach for her pink book. 

Snap!! at that same moment the click opened and Isabella flew to the cement floor  on her stomach. She turned her face on the left side and landed on her left cheek.

Everyone was stunt, gasped all at once.

I looked at her falling, helplessly, I couldn't reach for her.

My heart fell with my baby.

I picked her up immediately, hugged her while sobbing in front of the crowd.

Owh my baby! my poor baby! mommy so sorry. Please forgive me syg. 

The nurses rushed to help. 

We we taken into a room. She cried the whole time and my tears just flowed down shamelessly  in front of everyone waiting for their turn in clinic. 

She has a big swell on her left side of the head and we were sent to hosp putrajaya by an ambulancr.

What I feel right now, is such loneliness , sadness. All alone handling my baby to hosp. No clothes, no bags.

I just want to cry out and lie on the floor. I can't. She needs me. I am all that she has right now. The moment when I need to be the toughest most, I am at my weakest point. 

She's just sleeping and inactive right now. 

Thank you for your kind prayers. I need that support.

Mommy really really sorry..

by~ a guilty mommy


  1. Semoga cepat sembuh..sayang isabella..

    1. Alhamdulillah walaupun Isabella alami pendarahan dlm otak tp menurut pakar bedah, dia seperti biasa takda kecacatan atau tanda2 perlu operate. Saya rasa semasa Isabella jatuh, mcm slow motion seperti malaikat sambut.Sb takde bunyi langsung.

  2. Get well soon darling. And mommy don't be sad. Everything happens for a reason. Allah will never test you if you can't handle it. Just have faith and be strong. Allah knows best. I doakan anak you cepat sembuh.

  3. pun slalu cmtu..kdg2 rse susah nak capai that pink book dlm handbag pompuan yg dah kompom mcm2 adaa, nak dukung baby lagi..terkocoh2...tambah2 klau gi klinik sorang,sedih je rse.we should suggest kkm to use online record for baby monthly check up..kan..kak ifa jgn sedih, strong..hope isabella pun strong!..~silent reader~TODD SAINA

    1. Todd!!Omg Todd ke ni?hehehe cam jejak kasih.True sgt apa yg todd ckp tu.Org kli xpernah jln dgn anak sorang2 akn tnya knapa tak dukung saja baby?knpa cmtu knapa camni? Kalau kita tak pernah buat kita takkan tahu. Alhamdulillah Isabella da bleh blk rumah. P


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