The Day I cried in front of everyone

The day I cried in front of everyone clear to be seen.

Today Isabella due for her 2 month check up at KK Presint 9.So early morning, I headed from LBJ my MIL place alone. Reaching the Clinic at 11 , I had to park far because there was no parking available. So I chose to use the baby carrier given by my husband's aquaintance, Baby Love as I had to walk ver far crossing the drain and park. Stroller would be more tricky.

I always hold Isabella even with the carrier. The button opened while she was in it. I clicked it back tightly and walked towards the clinic.

I reached the front counter of the clinic. One hand supporting Isabella's bottom and the other hand I shoved into the handbag to reach for her pink book. 

Snap!! at that same moment the click opened and Isabella flew to the cement floor  on her stomach. She turned her face on the left side and landed on her left cheek.

Everyone was stunt, gasped all at once.

I looked at her falling, helplessly, I couldn't reach for her.

My heart fell with my baby.

I picked her up immediately, hugged her while sobbing in front of the crowd.

Owh my baby! my poor baby! mommy so sorry. Please forgive me syg. 

The nurses rushed to help. 

We we taken into a room. She cried the whole time and my tears just flowed down shamelessly  in front of everyone waiting for their turn in clinic. 

She has a big swell on her left side of the head and we were sent to hosp putrajaya by an ambulancr.

What I feel right now, is such loneliness , sadness. All alone handling my baby to hosp. No clothes, no bags.

I just want to cry out and lie on the floor. I can't. She needs me. I am all that she has right now. The moment when I need to be the toughest most, I am at my weakest point. 

She's just sleeping and inactive right now. 

Thank you for your kind prayers. I need that support.

Mommy really really sorry..

by~ a guilty mommy