Lend your support husbands!!
You know how a woman wishes for a sweet, romantic, kind and caring husband.
How nice it is if we can get one.
The right time to show this quality is during the labour process and the after.
So, I was working in the Obstetric and Gynaecology department before I got married.
At that time, I was young and terrified of giving birth. I even told the nurses that I was not going to get through this.
In the moment of pain, a woman true nature will reveal itself.
You will witness how everyone deals with their pain.
Errmmm not pretty.
There was one lady who stood on the bed and wailed.
Shrieked like a some kind of ghost. And it was in the middle of the night. Very very scary.
Some wife would slap the husband and blame him,'This is all your fault'.
Scratch the husband.
Most that I have seen were silently repeating zikir with one hand holding her husband.
That was the preferable way to endure pain.
So I vowed to myself that I will bear my pain with dignity. Alhamdulillah I had. No screaming,no crying and just zikir.
At the heat of the moment, you could see how your husband behaves too.
Many guys couldn't stand to see blood.
Lots of blood.
I had one guy who fainted immediately after seeing his baby. Owh it was right after his baby came out because of blood and amniotic fluid pouring out.
Yaaa ya the doctor was busy with the wife and baby, you fainted pulak.
So usually I would advise them to stay next to the wife's head and concentrate on supporting her breathing or calming her down.
If they ever feel drowsy, please take a walk outside and come back again. Sometimes the smell of blood can induce nausea too.
I don't know how you guys lend your support to your wife in labour.
Most men observed quietly next to his wife while holding her hand.
I could see that they were very worried, restless but showing a brave face for the sake of their wives.
Some husbands, give a calming, soothing words of support. Like this..
wife:Abg sakit bang. Tak mau dah anak lepas ni na bang? Sakit:( cry.
husband: Okay okay syg tak payah dah lepas ni. Ni last. Ok.
Me and nurses reaction was , smile to each other quietly.. we've seen this drama too many time to know that they will be back soon for another baby.
Once, during the pushing stage (2nd stage of labour)..
The wife was exhausted, she couldn't push so well. She was taking a little bit longer.
Midwives were instructing the mother and I was in position. Still, her technique was flawed and her breathing was short. She couldn't sustain the pressure for long.
The husband was busy instructing her too, harshly.
I guess he was frustrated, then he started shouting at her.
'Cepatla!!! Teran betul2!!! Apa awak ni???Takkan tu pun tak reti'.
He was shouting loud..
Threatening her to push properly or suffer the consequences.
Come on man, we are handling this. She is a first time mother and it is not that easy to push the baby out from a small hole.
Just be glad that you don't have to go through this.
Or I will make you lie on that table and start pushing.
So ya, the midwives reprimand him,'Don't scold her. Do not shout at her. Dia tengah sakit'.
He kept quiet and left the room.
Few minutes later, a beautiful baby girl was born.
Everyone was happy.
But if it was me and that was how my husband treated me at my weakest moment, the moment when I needed him the most...I would be so crestfallen and heartbroken.
After all that I have gone through for you, and this is how you would show your appreciation and support to me?
Another day at work. Second situation.
A mother gave birth next to her husband. She was pushing and he was cheering her up, giving words of encouragement.
'Sikit lagi syg. Sikit lagi. Abg dah nampk rambut baby'.
He was saying that with a wide smile.
Could hear excitement in his voice.
She gave several strong push and the baby boy was born.
I held the baby in my arms.
Before the father took the baby, he turned to his wife with love and joy in his tearful eyes, as if she was the most beautiful woman in the world, kissed her on her forehead.
With a drop of tear, he said,'Thank you sayang. Terima-kasih sayang untuk anak ini. I love you'.
The roomful of medical staffs were quiet as if there were only the two of them.
He meant every word. Wonderful.
And then, he took his baby.
She was still his first.
That was really sweet. It made me wanted to get married and have a baby immediately.
Sadly, my husband couldn't make it during my time. I gave birth in government hospital and your husband can be with you only in labour room.
I was admitted in the ward at first so he couldn't be there. He was reciting surah Yassin at home for me. Accompanying me from far. By the time I was 5 cm and going to be pushed to the labour room, I called him to come fast.
And my uterus was just so volatile that I wanted to give birth right in the lift itself.
So yea by the time he came to the hospital, like 10 minutes later, our baby was born already.
Huh, I missed my tender moment.
I was so bumped.
Though I was too tired to remember what he said when he came into the room.
I dozed off.
So, last week I told him this story and asked,'Did you thank me syg? Did u kiss me when you came into the room right after I gave birth?'.
He was like..'What? Tak cakap tq ke??Cakaplah. I rasa I cakap. I cium sygla sblm I balik dari hospital lps u bersalin. Tapi I tak ingat I cium u tak masa I masuk. Takpe I buat sekarang'.
'Tq syg',with a kiss on my forehead.
Does that count?
Okay La I will give you discount this time dear.
'Next time, you ingat kena buat mcm cerita ni ok. Kalau tidak tak mau beranak dah hehehehe'.
So to those husband who still has a chance, can do this for your wife.
It is not easy, the birthing process and she is doing her best. As much as you are frustrated, she feels even more. All you can do is, pray for her, support. Thats all.
Let nature takes it course.