Make your man jealous!!
I was talking to my husband earlier today and he praised me about my writing style.
He said I could make it into a book.
Hahahahaha I laughed.
I said it would be inappropriate.
That was before he read today's entry as he just woke up.
Then, he read it.
'Okay tak jadi buat buku. Hahaha you wrote about me. U kutuk I', he said.
I asked him if my writing made him feel uncomfortable as I shared it in general way what I feel every wife go through. It was to share in general about marriage. I didn't mean to say that he was a bad husband. He is not, he is just being a 'man',
Men are totally different from women. I do understand how a man think that is why I often let go. Kira cincai aaa.hahahaha.
The thing is the more u kira cincai, it can also complicate things. Your partner might not know what he or she does wrong and continue doing so. You might resent your partner in the future.
That is why I always tell my husband to tell me if he feels that I did something wrong because I don't want him to resent me and wake up one day realizing that he doesn't love me anymore.
It might be too late.
However that is easier said than done. Men don't tell you anything. hahaha.
But what they think will reflect on their behavior and how they treat you.
So he seemed angry with me. When I asked he would deny it. He even denied that we have a problem at first.
The first step to solving a problem is to admit that you have a problem. Right? Now I sound like a marriage counsellor. hahaha.
Marriage is like a ship. You have to let the engine sailed your ship or you will be stuck in the middle of nowhere but it is important that you decide the direction of your sail. As it might stray from the path you have set if you are not careful.
Few months ago my sister in law told us that marriage is not easy. If you survive the first 5 years, insyaAllah you will succeed. According to her, the first 5 years are the most challenging. My husband and I looked at each other, not getting the meaning? What will happen during the 5 years? She answered,' there will be issues rising up. It could be anything as every couple will have different issues'.
In the room, my husband and I thought what could possibly go wrong. We never have issues. Wierd. Maybe that won't happen to us.
Ya after having a baby, we know now.hahahaha. Okay. I wasn't going to talk about the issues.
They are not big but they were just the same thing over and over again.
One thing I know if your partner has been taking you for granted, you need to shock him.
Make him feel vulnerable again, unsure and confused.
You see there was a lot of chasing during courting. It was fun. The emotional ride was something to be cherished. Your boyfriend being possesive, jealous and the fear of losing you. It was all part of the game of love. It makes the love sweeter.
When you are married, you are his which means game over babeh. He feels very confident and becomes lazy. Thats when the term taking things for granted comes.
Your wife will always be there no matter what. You don't have to chase her anymore. She is tied for life. What are the chances of her running away to another man? Low of course.
What if we push him out of his comfort zone?
Leh him know that ' no, he has to join the game and okay his part. I won't wait for you forever until you finally decided to wake up and realized what you have missed'.
So finally we had an arguement. It wasn't the shouting arguement. It was more of me telling him what I felt for the past 6 months and him telling is part. Well, we couldn't talk on the phone so most of the things had to be whatsapped. Frustrating as you cannot argue in whatsapp.
Too slow. I was tired of typing.
Thus it went on for days as he had only 1 hour of time frame to whatsapp with me before he goes to the set. 1 hour daily to discuss a 6 months issues?
So after 2 days, I decided to tell him everything chronologically in a letter and emailed him.
I have never told him what I felt in a deep level. It is very unfair if you don't tell you partner the truth and suddenly bestow upon him a punishment.
It was a very long letter.hahaha. It made him cry. Well, I cried while writing it. I am more comfortable on writing then saying how I feel. I am a very reserved person as I grew up alone and all so I kept everything to myself and learned to be tough. So, telling someone that they are hurting you is like giving a power to the person, showing that you are affected by him. Well you are always affected but you just don't show it. If I tell him how sad I was, it would dig my emotion on the deepest level. Like baring my soul. It would make me feel naked. I couldn't do that as I would cry and the words wouldn't come out. I would be embarassed by my vulnerability. I hope you guys understand what I meant. It is my character. My pride is my shield.
So he wondered why I have kept my distance for sometime. He reacted through it by being moody and harsh to me.
It made me pulled myself further away because I felt sad and lonely as I don't think what I said deserved the treatment. I thought that he didn't love me anymore. Why would he treated me harshly for asking about 'how was your day?'.
Then I asked, 'Are you angry at me or something? Do you hate me? Don't you love me anymore? Is there something bothering you?'.
He said , 'no, he wasn't angry. It was just his way'.
No that cannot be as his way before was never like this. He was always nice to me.
So you see, I started brainstorming my mind what is wrong?
He wouldn't say it.
My letter was very detailed and it was like rewinding the scene back. He remembered everything that has happened. The thing is my husband has a soft heart. So, he felt really sad and guilty I guess reading the letter. He kept on asking me 'Why didn't you tell me earlier? I am so sorry I didn't realized what I did to you. I should have been more sensitive. I am really sorry'.
I heard the sincerity in his voice on the phone that night. Like I said earlier, he has a soft heart and he has always been very nice to me except when he I don't know, possesed?? hahahaha. But well he is human and something might be bothering him and he took it out on me.
I thought I have been too quick to forgive him before and despite him promising to change together towards a better relationship, he always forget. It takes time to change I know. We seriously need to get over this and be the couple we used to be. Such happy moments. How much I adored him before and how we always laughed and teased each other. I guess being new parents, we still have a lot to learn to fit in couples time, balancing me and him r/ship with isabella and us.
So I ignored him for 3 days like that. Made him work a little bit. Back to courting. Suddenly after half a year, he posted a song on my facebook wall 'Sedetik lebih'. That was our couple song.
He commented on every photo on my instagram and suddenly praising me just the way he did before.
I ignored every comment. It is not that I didn't forgive hime.
I just didn't want him to think that he can get my forgiveness easily. A man needs to work hard to appreciate his victory. It is like if you don't play hard to get during courting, he will not appreciate when he has couquered.hahahaha. I don't know thats just my theory. I am no expert.
Then, he found out about another man showing interest in me. By the way that was a true story. Just that I didn't tell him how I turned the guy down, how loyal I was.
I said,' It is okay if you don't find me beautiful in your eyes because somebody else does. There is someone who talks to me gently, always giving words of advice and support, who clearly wanted to spend time with me when you don't. To tell you the truth, when there is another person treating you better, of course I tend to compare you and him. He is good looking too being tall, fair and seemed like a kind, gentle person from the way he talked. It is nice to be liked. You know I like that feelings righg? Wanted and adored'.
He is not the overly jealoused type. That has worked well for me all these years.
But listening to me talking about another man, hahaha just threw him into rage. He was so angry swearing that he would break the man's face when he didn't even know the guy.
It was hilarious but damn flattering. Forgive my excitement.
'Apa kene org tu kacau isteri org? I terajang muka dia nanti. Siapa dia tu?Kepala otak dia'
hahahahaha funny right?
I wasn't finished.
I added salt and vinegar to the open wound,' Furthermore, he liked Isabella too. He said she is cute like her mommy. Isabella liked him when he lifted her into his arms. Well she likes to be lifted up so'.
His reaction was,' Otak dia. Tak guna. Tak malu ka? Tu anak I. Kenapa u bagi dia dukung anak I??U tunggu I balik nanti, I terajang jantan tu. You jgn nak pandai2 nak kuar dgn lelaki lain. Siap laki tu kalau I jumpa dia. I terajang muka dia'.
(Whats with his obsession to kick the guy in the face?)
You know how man are very possesive especially towards their children. So yea I played the child's card.
There is no way they would let their children be taken away by another man.
The truth was, the man showed interest but I was totally professional. He didn't touch Isabella because I didn't treat him in an informal term. I didn't give number as he requested and I didn't use the phone numbers that he gave me.
I know my boundry as a wife and I will always respect my husband. So, crossing the boundries would mean disrespecting my husband.
I also sent photos of me playing with Isabella to my husband and he said we looked cute together which made him missed us like hell. A man has soft spot for his child.
He really asked for a chance and I quote,' Last chance syg. Ini last'.
hahahahaha honey to you everytime is the last chance. The truth is I might need to give you more than last chance or we might end up a disaster. Both of us need as many chances as we can get. The most important thing is how do we use this chance?
I took this selfie and told him that if he is still the same after a week, I might just get bored and start accepting Fuad's attention. hahahaha. Well I got my husband's attention and he is back to his active mode.
No sleepy mode.
Please. I need the man I fell in love with. The man who stole my heart and made me turned down other suitors. I had several other choices but it was him that I always went back to.
He was gentle and warm, caring and understanding.
Someone I really adore. I could never be away from him as I would cry buckets in my room.
That smile in the photo up there, and the little twinkle in my eyes was because that photo was meant for him and filled with mischief on my part.
I managed to rock the boat and gave it a little drama to spice up the mood.
In reaction, we became closer and very much in love. Don't be afraid of arguements but remember never to go overboard. Don't blame each other, instead lets focus on finding the reason why it all begins this way. When you know the sources, you can eradicate them.
Like eradication therapy of removing bacteria which is the source of a disease.
Accept that both parties contributed to the problem at hand.
Ladies are very clever so use your skills and tactics to win your man. You cannot simply teach them the real way because they are leaders, they have ego and you are the deputy chief. Definitely your boss won't listen to you if the suggestions were given in a superior way.
However, they are very reasonable if we show them what has happened and how it made us felt. They love us. I don't think they meant to hurt us on purpose.
Nobody wants his or her marriage to go down the drain.
It is just that some people are more alert. Like me, I am the caretaker of my marriage.
When I sensed something is wrong, I will step in. My husband well he thinks everything is fine and always fine. hahahaha.
His radar has a low battery.
I think you ladies are the care taker of your marriage too right?After all we have 6 senses.
The other photos were me not covered so I won't post them here.Now a little drama and romance can do wonder. Alhamdulillah, we are stronger than before, very much in love and relieved beyond words.
As I drove to work, I looked at Isabella on he car seat and smile,' Baby, you are going to grow up into a lady with great tactical skills. A drama queen. God helps the man you will marry:)'
Never give up okay. As for the caretakers we have to be incharge silently okay. It is just between me and you, they don't have to know. They are in charge but we give good suggestions and a nudge to the right direction:)
Now, why is 9th of May seemed so far away??