Pressured to produce cute babies?
Does it matter that my baby and your baby is cute or not? Whether the skin is fair or olive tone?
Do you feel the pressure of having to meet other people's expectation?
I didn't want to feel the pressure wheather or not my unborn baby will be cute, or will she be fair, during my pregnancy.
I seriously don't care. She is my baby and I will love her unconditionally.
However, that is not the case amongs others around me.
It doesn't help the fact that many people expressed their desire to see my baby.
'I can't wait to see your baby. She must be cute like you'.
'She must be fair like you'
'Hopefully she has your fair skin instead of your husband's olive skin tone'.
Okay, I can't help it because he is the daddy. He contributes to the genes:)
'Doctor, you have Korean look/ Japanese/ Chinese look. Your baby could be looking like a mix child too'.
I know everyone meant only good things.
After all, words are prayers.
However, after all the remarks, it made me think, what if she is not cute enough, or that she is dark, she has a totally pure Malay look like her daddy and she doesn't look like me?
I know I will be fine. Besides, I love how my husband looks like and that was why I married him, one of the many reason.
Others might be slightly disappointed behind my back.
So when Isabella was born, she wasn't fair. Her skin was so dark red that it was bluish and almost dark blue. The elders said,'Kulit lebam'.
When the nurses handed her to me, I was stunt to see her color. She was so 'lebam' blue.
I knew that it was temporary as she was in a state of cyanosis and will turn red as soon as she gets enough oxygen.
She turned red later.But deep red almost maroon.
He skin was mottled red, very undevelopped. I knew her real color was not showing yet.
After 2 months, she was still dark red, mottled. You could see the blood pooling under the skin.
Very different. Like a web of blood under that skin.
My MIL said that my husband's older sister had this type of skin as a newborn. She was born dark and blue and it took her 1 year for her skin to reveal the real color. She was so fair after a year. Ya she is very fair now.
Like the fairest amongs the sibblings.
Each day Isabella grew lighter. Her redness started to disappear.
However, everyone still commented on how dark she was in comparison to her mommy.
She was not dark, just yellowish but when they compare it to me, she seems dark.
It was 3 months and my MIL was still convinced that she will become fairer.
I didn't mind the comments especially when they came from my family members.
Even my parents mentioned that she didn't take after my skin.
During my pregnancy I wasn't obsessed about eating whatever to make my baby's skin fair and light. I just ate whatever I wanted.
I believed in genetic and let nature takes its course.
My husband felt guilty that his baby girl took after his skin. Actually, she wasn't as dark as he is. However, his family convinced me that he was born fair until he grew up under the sun too much to earn the sun tan.
These days, Isabella has become much fairer. Her skin is pinkish with a tint of blush at the cheeks. Her smile lighted the Korea/ Japanese features. Strangers couldn't keep their hands from her much to my annoyance. Even mamak mapley. Where have the hands gone through and now they are touching my baby.
Strangers commented on how she doesn't look Malay at all.
Calling her cute and adorable.
To me she has always been beautiful.
My daddy came today after a week of not seeing Isabella and commented,'Dia makin besaq, makin lawa no, makin putih pink pink'.
I just smiled and said that she is just like her mom.
He said,'No. When you were a baby, you were pale white'.
My husband asked me,' What would you feel if your baby was not cute?'
I replied,'I wouldn't mind a bit. She has my unconditional love however she looks. But being cute and pretty is a bonus which I am grateful to Allah'.
All babies and children are cute especially to their mothers, Nothing could go wrong.
Besides,who says that being fair means pretty and dark means less pretty?
I for one don't agree to that.
I don't mean you guys but sometimes I did read nasty remarks about how a baby looks like for example Marion Caunter followers. They were acting as if they were stating a fact but it was hurtful to a mother.
Maybe, people shouldn't judge how a child looks like.
After all, an angel is an angel no matter in what form they take (innocence).