The look she gave me..

Isabella is a very cool baby, very calm. She doesn't throw tantrum or cry.
So, since leaving her with the daycare centre, I watched her mood.
Whenever I take her from daycare, she wasn't crying, she was just lying down quitely or sit on the nanny's lap. Emotionless, no tears , no smile.

However, when she saw me, the quiet Isabella suddenly became talkative..

No wonder mommy walked in the heavy rain so far to get her car despite the lightning.
I got to go back for a short while to pick her from daycare, shower and drop her to my parents place before I go back to the hospital.

By the time I reached the car, I was soaked wet and shivering.
If it wasn't because of my baby waiting for me, I would not risk walking in the lightning.

It is sad. I am sad. If you see my face these days, you know how much I am struggling. Suddenly with my tired face, dull skin, panda eyes and bitter smile.
I wonder if I will go to heaven for all my love and my feelings for my baby and husband.
I wonder if my husband knows how much challenges I am facing. I wonder if he cares and appreciate it all?
A wife will question at time to herself.

Whatever it is, God knows and appreciate a mother's strength and sacrifices even when humans don't:(


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