Teaching through example..
Parents love their kids so much.
In fact sometimes too much.
We might love them a little over the board that could neglect certain things.
Small things but bigger impact.
My husband is a great father.
He loves Isabella so much that he won't move anywhere when Isabella sleeps on his chest.
Which means, if he had to pick up his phone and the phone was out of his reach, he won't.
I accepted that because Isabella was sick at that time.
After she recovered from her illness, she was still easily exhausted.
One weekend, we had an open house invitation, when we were ready to go, Isabella fell asleep.
My husband felt sorry for her as she was still unwell.
So we cancelled the visit.
I felt bad to the neighbours but I understood my baby was still weak.
The week after, our neighbour 3 doors from our place invited us personally to visit her for raya open house.
The auntie had a talk with my husband recently and she remembered to invite him.
As I was working so I told him to go.
It would seem so bad not to go when we live so near and he was at home.
It might upset the aunty.
When the time comes, it was drizzling (misty rain).
It was not a heavy rain.
He told me he can't go because Isabella will get sick in the rain.
I explained that they can use umbrella and her stroller will protect her.
He can shield her.
She will not get sick that easily.
How many times have I endured rain with my baby in my arms running errands when it suddenly rain cats and dogs.
Loving and taking care of your children is important but the world doesn't evolve around your child.
There are other things required as a muslim such as honouring your neighbour.
Strengthening the bond of ukhwah.
Without ukhwah, Islam will fall.
Now, Rasulullah asked us to prioritize and love our neighbours and friends.
So I think I should teach my baby that too.
I will not agree to my baby all the time and make her the top of the world eventhough I love her so much.
I won't encourage her to develop selfishness and thinking that she is the most important person in the world, that everyone should follow her rhythm.
I believe Allah will protect my family if I try to please Him.
I am not the protector of my child as I am powerless.
So yea, if you can find a way to please someone, please try harder.
My husband loves Isabella so much.
Many times I realized that it was more than his love for me.
I am proud and happy that he care for his child that much.
Still, I would share my view when I don't agree with him.
Of course that doesn't make him a bad parent at all.
He is sweet.
I realized many parents who place their children on top of everyone.
Sometimes on top of their own parents.
I had to face that once.
Isabella was unwell with flu but she didn't have fever.
She was cranky.
My father called asking me to go to his place because my uncle from Perak came and he stopped at my father's place.
They wanted to see Isabella.
I didn't like the idea of carrying my cranky baby around but my father requested and there was the fact that my relatives came from the north.
I contemplated that Isabella is not that sick but rather it would be tricky for me, quite burdening.
I still go.
That day, my baby was below my father's request and below my uncle's happiness.
They were happy to see Isabella.
I was tired.
But I don't always do things that I like.
I always tell my husband that I do many things because it is my responsibility, required of me.
If I do what I wish, that would be lying on the bed with shaking feet and a remote in my right hand.
Some of you might judge me as bad parents but that is parenting.
Everyone does according to his or her judgement.
I am not trying to show how good I am.
I am not great.
I am far from perfection.
I am just sharing my point of view.
I realized there are people who are way wiser.
And hope they will show the way.
Sometimes, when we visit my MIL and Isabella slept in the car, I would just carry her inside.
Most of the time she woke up and refused to sleep again.
I have seen many parents who would stay in the car until their kids wake up.
Sometimes, they make the house owner waited for too long.
My mum waited too.
I didn't like it when she had to wait for her guests who stayed in the car parked in front of our place.
If I wake my baby's up, she will not get sick.
If she is really sleepy, she will fall asleep again.
If she had enough, then let her be.
But what she should understand is that, mommy is teaching her how everyone's around her is as important as she is.
She is not the queen of the world.
Hopefully, she will be a good muslimah, who takes care of everyone's feelings as required in Islam.
Grow up well honey.
Be sensitive and thoughtful.
Mommy is doing only what she understands in her capacity.