Being a working mother, I have just realized that I will be missing a whole lot of my daughter's first time.
I have never thought of it this way before.
Never knew that it matters to me.

I have been teaching Isabella to wave goodbye for months.
Somehow she wasn't waving back.
So you know how long and how much I have been waiting for this.

Yesterday, I dropped her off to her babysitter before going to work.
Kissed her goodbye and entered my car.
There she was waving her hand with her babysitter as Kak Jem said 'bye bye mommy'.
Thought my eyes played a trick on me so I just brushed it off.
And then, again  she waved her tiny cute hand.
It was a big wave and I couldn't possibly miss it.

So I exclaimed 'Ehh she can wave???'
I was so happy and surprised that the babysitter could see from my face.
I was so touched.
You know how long I have been waiting for my baby's wave?

Seeing my pleasure, she asked me if I knew that Isabella can wave?
I said ' No I don't know. I have never seen it'.

She explained,' Owh she can actually wave like 2 weeks ago'.

My baby could wave like 2 weeks ago and I just found out now???

I immediately called my husband.
'Sayang,do you know that Isabella can wave now?'
Hubby:Wave? what wave?

What wave? What kind of question was that?
Wave is a wave laaaa.
Whatever. Malas nak panjangkan so I just answered him nicely,'She can wave her hand goodbye'.

Hubby:OOoowwwh. No I don't know.
Me:She can now. She has been doing it for the past 2 weeks. When Kak Jem said 'bye bye mommy' she raised her right hand and waved.
It was the cutest thing. I almost cried you know.
I really hate this. I am missing her first time. I really hate this.

Hubby: We are working so this is to be expected. She spend most of her time with Kak Jem.

I understand that.
It still suck though.
I know that I am lucky to find a kakak who 'click' with me so fast.
We just understand each other.
We have become fast friend.
When I came home from work and dropped by to pick Isabella, Kak Jem served me food as well the other day. Several times already.
She is like my big sister.
I was hungry so hahaha I accepted lerr.
It was delicious and I really enjoyed talking to her.
I admire how she manages her finance.
At the age of 40, she could generate income from home.
There must be a secret right?
I am not talking like 20k per month.
She talks big figure like jaw opening one.
Now I know and I admire her even more.
Now this is a friend I will learn from.

The best thing is that she and her family love Isabella dearly.
Last week she asked me if she and her husband can drop us at the airport next week.
I was so surprised because our flight is at 3 a.m. which means we will head to the airport around 11.30 p.m. to 12 midnight.
Who would want to be bothered like that.
So I told her that they should just sleep and rest at that time.
She answered that her husband suggested to her since they wanted to see Isabella before her trip.
She said that she would miss Isabella terribly.
Isabella has brought light into her life.
It is such a joy seeing Isabella's development, smile and laughter.
She is such a loving baby that she always drop by a kiss and hug to her babysitter as she plays around.

To a mother, that admission just filled me with gratitude.
To have someone who loves and cherish your child like this, it is a blessing.

So okay I let her replace me in term of witnessing Isabella's first step and wave and many more first time to come.
Atleast, I still get to sleep with my baby every single night.
Having her snuggle under my axilla (ketiak) every night, feel so wonderful.
I know I am going to miss this when she grows out of our bed.

The lesson is, you gain some and lose some.
We do the best we can with the best we have, right?
The most important thing is that everyone is happy.

Okay, bye.


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