My postpartum blues
Hello good people,
This 1 whole week is a week of holiday and relaxation for me.
We went to Port Dickson last weekend and continue spending the rest of the week in my MIL's place. Husband is on holiday mode now but he will soon fly to Jakarta for next film. It is this Monday!!!
So sad. Hehehe (drama mode).
Anyway, these days we all have been taken by the suicide act from a mother due to postpartum depression.
Postpartum blues or depression is so common. Even Gwyneth Paltrow admitted to having the same struggle. The most important thing is to recognize and get some help.
It is difficult for mothers to recognize when they aren't sure what was happening to them. That is why I always say this,' you have to read a little when you are pregnant, and you have to read to prepare being a parent'. If you do, you will come across mood swings in pregnancy and after delivery. It is about hormones, difficulties in coping with new tasks and challenges, lack of help and etc.
Enough said. I actually wondered bout my postpartum blues.
At least to those who are not a fan of books, can get a light up from my experiences.
I wouldn't consider my experience as that big but I guess it will be mostly common blues that new mother faced.
After I gave birth, I resided with my MIL. She was very helpful and excellent.
Husband was helpful as well but at that moment it wasn't enough for me.
Imagine having to wake up every few hours to nurse your baby for hours at one time and listening to your husband snoring. After a week, I got sick of him. How dare he snore when this is his baby. This is his doing. He should at least wake up and accompany me.
2)Owh I am so fat and ugly. Owh I have my bulging belly. Where is my flat,tone abdomen?? Owh this is not me. Will I be ugky forever? Will my husband start looking for another woman who is sexier. Me?? This is not sexy with 'batik sarong'. Owh I hate myself!!! --->struggle with postbaby body.
3)owh having a newborn is a lot of work. Why is my husband so busy helping his relatives with their 'kenduri'?? So many people can take over. Who is going to help me now? I'm so bored being stucked in the house and I can't even go out to see people. He should be here with me.Maybe he doesn't love me anymore because I am ugly. Who will love a lady with socks, high tocang, batik and big T-shirt?? I wouldn't.
Maybe he finds me boring that is why he rather spent time with his boys cousins under the tent.
4)Did my husband used me?? Have I been used as a baby factory?? And now he loves his baby more than me. Omg!! He doesn't need me anymore now!! For what?? He has what he wanted, a child from me. Hah u are no longer needed. He will throw you out now.
5)Owh, when can I go out?? I hate confinement.
6)Owh I hate this food. I just want to confine alone and do what I want.
7)I need internet. This is boring.
8)Why do I sweat so much. I'm so tired of showering 5 times in a day.
9)Argghh this milk keeps on coming out. Bothersome. Why do I have so much milk. How many times do I have to change my top? It is embarrassing.
10)Arghh nipple crack.
Hahhahahahaha so as you can see.They are all funny emotions that I felt because of hormones but they were real to me. I could cry alone at night. Of course I didn't have suicidal thoughts but to me they were my big problems. My husband being a male he didn't understand.
That is why you should find friends who have kids. They do understand. They will tell you that they have similar experiences and that everything will just go away soon . And it did went away. Right after confinement, slowly you realize how funny you were. But I still confronted hubby for all my unsatisfaction. Poor guy improved. That was how I got a very helpful father to Isabella.
1)You will have postpartum blues.
2)Don't keep to yourself. Let your partner knows.
3)Share with people who have similar experiences.
4)Get help. Maybe professional help.
Okay I need to take my Shaklee supplements now.