How my daughter touched my hormonal heart

Isabella is too mature, too wise and independent for her age.
I think.

And as a mother, I feel very proud of her but at the same time I feel touched or sad for her.

From the day she received a younger sister, she has never throw tantrum or show hatred/ rebel for attention.
She accepted her sister with open arms.
Patting Kamelia to sleep with ' LA ilahailallah'.

Giving little Kamelia 20 kisses per day and that because I told her enough.
10 kisses everytime. Before she went anywhere, she would kiss her sister and 'salam' with a kiss on the little hand.

Whenever her sister cried, she would call me and said,' Baby's crying'.
She would watch as I nursed Kamelia with eyes too bright.
'Mommy, I want juice', she would request.

'Okay darling. Wait yaaa. After this', I would tell her.

She would wait quietly with a sad face.
As if she is no longer my top priority.
It really break my heart seeing her understanding how my responsibility has widened.

Right after I finished breastfeeding Kamelia, and I put her down, Isabella would crawl to my lap and placed her head.

She would say,' Isabella sleep here'.

She waited until I finished with her sister to crawl on my lap.

Since then, I always call her to sleep on my lap whenever I breastfeed.

Now her daddy I not here. She has not once asked me about him.
When her aunt asked her,' where is daddy?'

She answered,' daddy work'.

So she knew eventhough daddy left when she was still sleeping so she had not say goodbye.

A week has passed. She was acting as usual. She still doesn't ask about her daddy but once i n a while I caught her looking at his photo in the cupboard.
The one we took at the zoo.

Today, she was even more restless.
Everytime she heard somebody at the door, eventhough neighbours, she would stopped whatever she was doing and ran to the door.
Struggled to turn the lock.

She said,'Haaaa daddy home'.

I replied,' No sayang, that is not daddy. Come sit back'.

These things happened again and again today. For everytime somebody walked outside our condo unit.

And after I said that was not her daddy, she went to the cupboard and stared at her daddy's photo, said,' there, that's daddy!! Tu daddy haaa'.

Omg!! She really missed him.

I felt teary. Confinement hormones guys.
I wished at times she would just cry and ask for daddy or demand her daddy instead of acting all brave like this.

Owh my God. She is just like me. Always try to act brave and bottle everything inside.
Always act like everything is fine and try to do everything herself.

I don't know whether to feel happy or sad. Probably both because I know she is strong but at the age of 2 years old, I feel sad for her.

You should be a child darling.
My child. You don't have to be so brave because you have me and daddy.

Mommy had to be brave because mommy had to be independent from very young.


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